You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
