my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
