I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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