we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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