I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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