Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
My vagina just recognized that song.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
