I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
