I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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