Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I showed him my bush... on skype.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
