Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
