I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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