It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
