If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize