is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
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