ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I can't put those talents on a resume
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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