im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
