OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
