how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
he shaved USA in his pubs
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
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