I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
