why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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