just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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