Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
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It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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