Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
