This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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