I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
