her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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