i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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