I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
