its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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