I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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