that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
people are starting to question the shark bite story
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Drake has all the answers
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Randomize
