Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
he puts the penis in happiness.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch