Texts From Last Night

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  (708): View more from Illinois

  Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.

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  (708): Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me. http://tfl.nu/gxz0
  Replies (14) Good night (5353) Bad night (723)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.

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  (503): She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true. http://tfl.nu/uoge
  Replies (2) Good night (705) Bad night (1679)
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  (386): View more from Florida

  Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved

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  (386): Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved http://tfl.nu/rva0
  Replies (10) Good night (2977) Bad night (877)
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  (818): View more from California

  I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.

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  (818): I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand. http://tfl.nu/hyhy
  Replies (9) Good night (796) Bad night (2385)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.

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  (901): Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome. http://tfl.nu/dlib
  Replies (23) Good night (1682) Bad night (3318)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.

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  (804): names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving. http://tfl.nu/d6qb
  Replies (8) Good night (3640) Bad night (547)
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  (650): View more from California

  This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"

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  (650): This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case" http://tfl.nu/fgo6
  Replies (12) Good night (6636) Bad night (944)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag

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  (781): Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag http://tfl.nu/xidr
  Replies (4) Good night (2370) Bad night (885)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.

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  (775): Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes. http://tfl.nu/op0y
  Replies (1) Good night (791) Bad night (1216)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.

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  (859): Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club. http://tfl.nu/0u25
  Replies (6) Good night (504) Bad night (819)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.

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  (262): Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs. http://tfl.nu/x449
  Replies (1) Good night (542) Bad night (976)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm okay with that.

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  (215): This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something. (267): I'm okay with that. http://tfl.nu/qf21
  Replies (6) Good night (1014) Bad night (755)
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  (571): View more from Virginia

  Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter

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  (571): Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter http://tfl.nu/fvpm
  Replies (2) Good night (928) Bad night (353)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.

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  (770): I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone. http://tfl.nu/ncer
  Replies (4) Good night (336) Bad night (860)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together

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  (715): The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together http://tfl.nu/qn3b
  Replies (0) Good night (378) Bad night (318)

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