maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
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Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
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She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire