She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.