he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Randomize
