also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
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she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
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drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.