Texts From Last Night

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  (518): View more from New York

  Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.

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  (518): Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird. http://tfl.nu/mxsq
  Replies (8) Good night (691) Bad night (2134)
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  (650): View more from California

  the ice cream truck is coming omgomg

  (1-650): View more from California

  dude, it's 2 am.

  (650): View more from California

  but its COMING

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  (650): the ice cream truck is coming omgomg (1-650): dude, it's 2 am. (650): but its COMING http://tfl.nu/8z5r
  Replies (63) Good night (8371) Bad night (769)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.

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  (717): Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk. http://tfl.nu/z5dl
  Replies (13) Good night (3848) Bad night (1011)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today

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  (850): I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today http://tfl.nu/9m95
  Replies (18) Good night (4686) Bad night (1137)
• Favorite

  (224): View more from Illinois

  I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.

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  (224): I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week. http://tfl.nu/ba7c
  Replies (13) Good night (3370) Bad night (1958)
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am

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  (506): I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am http://tfl.nu/t74t
  Replies (14) Good night (1673) Bad night (2846)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.

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  (443): Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire. http://tfl.nu/qksw
  Replies (16) Good night (3981) Bad night (1655)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.

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  (859): In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing. http://tfl.nu/n1s5
  Replies (4) Good night (3149) Bad night (660)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!

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  (617): Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood! http://tfl.nu/rv6i
  Replies (3) Good night (2063) Bad night (904)
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  (763): View more from Minnesota

  Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine

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  (763): Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine http://tfl.nu/hxv4
  Replies (6) Good night (1369) Bad night (496)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...

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  (814): I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before... http://tfl.nu/3no3
  Replies (3) Good night (828) Bad night (534)
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  (631): View more from New York

  I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!

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  (631): I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving! http://tfl.nu/q0d4
  Replies (3) Good night (1168) Bad night (461)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?

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  (440): This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina? http://tfl.nu/kffk
  Replies (9) Good night (920) Bad night (582)
• Favorite

  (269): View more from Michigan

  It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die

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  (269): It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die http://tfl.nu/03yf
  Replies (1) Good night (428) Bad night (300)
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  (953): View more from

  Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed

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  (953): Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed http://tfl.nu/b1fd
  Replies (0) Good night (566) Bad night (162)

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