Texts From Last Night

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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.

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  (608): No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat. http://tfl.nu/i15q
  Replies (14) Good night (3386) Bad night (732)
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Who won?

  (225): View more from Louisiana

  All of them.

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  (225): I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away. (504): Who won? (225): All of them. http://tfl.nu/xlra
  Replies (81) Good night (9553) Bad night (1731)
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  (432): View more from Texas

  So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..

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  (432): So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone.. http://tfl.nu/o0ep
  Replies (18) Good night (677) Bad night (4338)
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  (909): View more from California

  I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.

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  (909): I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho. http://tfl.nu/pviw
  Replies (9) Good night (726) Bad night (4154)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day

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  (802): I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day http://tfl.nu/wkei
  Replies (13) Good night (4332) Bad night (1114)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.

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  (901): I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus. http://tfl.nu/pp37
  Replies (14) Good night (5046) Bad night (1354)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.

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  (908): I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool. http://tfl.nu/5y98
  Replies (13) Good night (2071) Bad night (3856)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.

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  (207): FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS. http://tfl.nu/a3c7
  Replies (28) Good night (2423) Bad night (2942)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok

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  (509): I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok http://tfl.nu/3owz
  Replies (9) Good night (2591) Bad night (785)
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  (858): View more from California

  this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me

  (619): View more from California

  that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.

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  (858): this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me (619): that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box. http://tfl.nu/s7vm
  Replies (7) Good night (1666) Bad night (801)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.

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  (720): By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air. http://tfl.nu/rzj6
  Replies (3) Good night (1238) Bad night (819)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today

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  (570): woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today http://tfl.nu/g1oy
  Replies (1) Good night (935) Bad night (299)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule

  (1-775): View more from Nevada

  Thats your rule and this car is nice

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  (775): You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule (1-775): Thats your rule and this car is nice http://tfl.nu/6eo6
  Replies (1) Good night (656) Bad night (329)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?

  (1-618): View more from Illinois

  Proceed with caution.

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  (618): Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right? (1-618): Proceed with caution. http://tfl.nu/mnud
  Replies (0) Good night (479) Bad night (267)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.

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  (847): I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards. http://tfl.nu/rmew
  Replies (0) Good night (404) Bad night (222)

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