whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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