So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
