He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
