i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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