i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
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