How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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