she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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