I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
