Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
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