My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
