but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Please don't give away my fajitas
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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