Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
