just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
