so that wasnt chicken after all
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
