she was so not down for the gang bang
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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