Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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