Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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