we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
