i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
he was CRYING into my vagina
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
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