Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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