hell yes lets make some ravioli
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I think a kid would responsible me up
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
