I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
