WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
