the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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