Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Randomize
