No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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