im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize