I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
