Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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