Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
