Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.