Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down