Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.